


And I'm gonna hold you like I'm saying goodbye

by digthewriter



Category: Captain America (Movies), Captain America - All Media Types, Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Action, Alternate Universe, Bottom Steve, Bottom Steve Rogers, Bucky Barnes & Natasha Romanov Friendship, Conspiracy, Drama, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Friendship, M/M, Natasha Romanov Is a Good Bro, Non-Serum Steve Rogers/Winter Soldier Bucky Barnes | Shrinkyclinks, Sassy Steve Rogers, Steve Rogers & Natasha Romanov Friendship, Top Bucky Barnes, shrinkyclinksfest
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-08
Updated: 2020-04-08
Packaged: 2021-03-02 04:53:20
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 20,000
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23539405
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/digthewriter/pseuds/digthewriter
Summary: Steve doesn't want a date to this party, but he kinda needs one. Only because he'd like to tell his ex to go drown himself. And then he ends up with a man named Bucky, and gets more than what he'd bargained for. Fake relationship for the win!
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes & Steve Rogers, James "Bucky" Barnes/Steve Rogers
Comments: 44
Kudos: 339
Collections: Shrinkyclinks Fest 2020





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [bangyababy](https://archiveofourown.org/users/bangyababy/gifts).



> _Prompt_ : Fake relationship. Steve needs a date to some function to get his friends off his back about dating. Enter Bucky.
> 
> This fic would have never happened if I hadn't picked this prompt from such an amazing person. I want to thank the mods for forgiving me last year (or I just hope you did,) and allowing me to participate this year. This fic has taken me a year to write and what a journey that has been. I hope you guys enjoy it. A million thanks to F, and P, among others... for being my alpha and beta, and for making this story so much better in your own little ways. All the remaining mistakes are mine b/c I am a jerk and couldn't leave it alone. I needed it to be exactly 20,000 words. 
> 
> This is my first stucky-long!fic and I hope that doesn't show. Enjoy.

I.

Natasha thinks she has the answer to everything.

"Take my friend Barnes," she says to Steve when he's only just sitting at the bar next to her complaining.

He wishes he had a date to bring to the big weekend event at his boss's place in the Hamptons. 

"Who is _Barnes_?" Steve asks, incredulous. Is that a man's name? 

Steve's had a series of bad dates lately and none had he ever told Natasha were men. How did she even know—or maybe Barnes is a nickname for a girl. Like Brianna or Bernadette or Barbara; she could have a girlfriend named Barney. _Or for that matter, it is very gender neutral._

"He's my buddy from when I was in the secret s—" She stops herself, looking at the gin and tonic she's holding as if surprised there's alcohol in it. She's sharp as a dagger so he knows she's only taking the piss with him. 

_He_. Okay, he'll bite. 

"You were in the secret service?" he asks in a surprised tone. 

"Not _in_ the secret service. I had a job once delivering mail at the Pentagon. He was in the army then. We became buddies. Now he's back in New York—"

"He's from New York?" Sure they're going to ignore they're easily talking about Steve needing a man as a date. Because he could take a girl—Lord knows he'd tried to like girls all his life but—yeah gonna ignore it. 

"Brooklyn." 

"No way." 

She shrugs. "I always thought about introducing you two but timing never worked out. This'll be great. He can be your date for the weekend and _finally maybe_ both of you can get laid." 

"I don't need your help getting laid, thank you." 

"Don't you?" She looks at him with the shit eating grin he hates so much. Well, loves to hate it. He doesn't actually hate anything about her. "Trust me, you're his type." 

She doesn't allow him to reply as she downs her drink and orders them another round. 

He's definitely going to feel it in the morning.

0-0

There's a bang at the door, ignoring it, Steve stirs in his bed.

"Go away!" he mumbles to no one, hoping the banging was actually in his head and he could roll over and _die_. Or go back to sleep. 

A minute later, the banging is back. What's worse, it's accompanied by his phone vibrating. Steve grabs his phone and makes his way to the door. As as soon as he opens it, he realizes he doesn't have any clothes on. He's wearing his star spangled banner boxers and that's about it.

Still, the thing which takes the cake home is the fact that the man banging at his front door, now standing in front of him, is gorgeous. Not one of those model type gorgeous, either—but full on squared jaw, long hair, and sporting a sexy five o'clock shadow at ten in the morning—gorgeous. 

The look in his eyes makes Steve forget his own name. They're warm and welcoming… like they have been waiting for Steve, this moment, for a lifetime. 

Or maybe it's Steve who has been doing the waiting. 

"Uh…" Steve says as his phone vibrates again and he looks down at it. "For goodness' sake." He reads a message from Natasha—Barnes is stopping by to introduce himself. "Sugar." 

"Rogers?" the man says. 

Steve looks up from his phone. "Hi. I'm Rogers. I mean… Steve." 

"Natasha didn't tell you—" 

"She just did." Steve lifts the phone up in the air as he stares at the man's broad shoulders and gulps. "Barnes?" His voice involuntarily comes out squeaky and he's already starting to hate Natasha. 

The cool morning draft has finally hit his skin and Steve shivers. 

"Bucky," he says. "I… maybe you wanna put some clothes on?" 

"Uh-huh." Steve gets out of the doorway allowing _Bucky_ to come in and then rushes to the bedroom to find a pair of sweats and a t-shirt. No, it's not on purpose he's put on the ARMY t-shirt but it was what was on the top of his drawer. 

When he comes back to the living room, Bucky's looking around. His gaze falls on Steve, and then his ARMY shirt, and then he raises an eyebrow. 

"So, you're doing this?" Steve asks before Bucky can say anything to criticize him or whatever. 

"Natasha said she needed a favor." 

"So, it's a favor?" 

"No." 

"No?" 

"Natasha said she'll handle the payment." 

"The payment?" Steve asks, confused. 

"For the weekend. To pose as your date." 

"Right… okay. I'll make some coffee," he says, rushing to the kitchenette attached to his living room. As he puts the pot on, he yanks out his cell phone from his pocket and texts Natasha. 

_S - He's an escort.  
N - He told you that?  
S - Yes. You're handling payment? I can't believe you didn't tell me that. I won't sleep with him now.  
N - Interesting. So I wasn't wrong. There is interest there.  
S - Oh shut up.  
N - You shut up._

"Is everything all right?" 

Bucky is close to him and his warm breath makes Steve's entire body vibrate. 

"Yes, I'm fine. Thanks." He turns to look at Bucky and then takes a step back. 

"Hey… relax." Bucky raises his hands as if in caution. As if Steve is a scared deer and he's approaching him so carefully—scared to spook him. "I'm here so we can get to know each other. I spoke to Natasha last night—" 

"Last night? I was with her…" And then he'd got drunk and she'd called him an Uber. _Oh, right._ "…for a few hours and then came home." 

"Yeah. So she met up with me and told me what's going on. There's some weekend get-together with your work colleagues and someone's getting an award? Is it you? A lot of the people from your job are gonna be there… and you need someone to charm the room while you do your thing." 

"My thing," Steve repeats. Does Bucky even know what Steve does? Did Natasha even explain? 

"Yeah. So we have to act like a couple. It'd help if you didn't jump and look startled every time I try to get close to you. I mean, we only have a day to work with, right? And we're driving there tomorrow?"

Steve nods and the smell of coffee starts to fill the room. _Good_. He'll think better with coffee. He pours them both a cup and before he can ask, Bucky takes over. 

"How do you like your coffee?" 

"Cream and sugar," he says. "You?" He thinks about adding a few minutes later. The man's clearly a professional, and knows what he's doing. He can't believe Natasha thought he needed a male escort to bring to the party. 

"Black," Bucky says and then he grabs both mugs of coffee and goes back to the living room. 

Steve sits across from him and sips hot coffee for a minute. Bucky is watching him. There's literally no reaction on the man's face and Steve can't tell anything about him. Is he happy he's stuck with Steve? Is he judging him for his small size as most people do? Is he wondering how the heck did he get this _assignment_ and how much _is_ Natasha paying this guy for—

"What's your favorite color?" 

_What the heck?_ "Blue," Steve says. 

"Why don't I believe that?" 

"I don't know? I'm not four years old. I don't have a favorite color." 

Bucky laughs and relaxes back in his chair. "Good." It's all he says and for some time, it's quiet again. 

"I'm not getting an award. It's a party because someone else got an award." 

"Who?" 

"Liam Mason Wyatt." 

"And who is Liam Mason _Wyatt_?" Bucky asks, looking invested in the story. There's something in his expression Steve can't recognize just yet. 

Steve shrugs. He brings his legs up against his chest and continues to drink his coffee. Slowly, he's starting to wake up and the awkwardness he felt around the man when he'd opened the door to him almost naked is starting to slip away. "Former research partner. We worked for Strucker Labs together. After his paper was published, he was promoted. Moved on to bigger and better things. And finally got a Prestigious Science award called _The Breakthrough Prize_." 

"With your research?" 

"Our research," Steve corrects; he can already tell what Bucky is going to say next and he wants to stop him from going there. 

"That he didn't give you credit for." 

"It doesn't matter to me." 

"And that's _okay_ with you?" 

"As long as good work is being done—it's what truly makes a difference. I mean, I didn't even want to be a scientist in the first place but—" 

"What did you wanna be?" 

Steve chews on his lip for a good minute before he answers. "Join the army. Like my dad. But…look at me." 

Bucky's eyes widen for a split second. The man is good at hiding his emotions. He doesn't look surprised, not exactly, but once again, Steve can't tell. "Why's that?" 

"Do I have to tell you? I mean you were in it weren't you?" 

"What makes you so sure?" 

"You mean besides Natasha telling me? She did tell me _something_ before you showed up at my door first thing in the morning. And the way you sit, and you're so alert and you've already cased this place from left to right—" 

"It's Saturday and I wouldn't call ten-fifteen first thing in the morning." 

"Right," Steve says rolling his eyes. "If she were a good friend she would have given you my number and we could have decided on a better time to meet."

"I wanted to see your place. See how you live and to get to know you better if we're to pull off looking like a legit couple in front of your ex-lover who stole your research and your award—:

"What?" Steve scoffs, annoyed and surprised and before he can even add any more emotions to his reaction, says, "What makes you—I mean—how—We were not lovers." 

"But you were in love with him." He raises an eyebrow. He's good at doing that. "Still are?" 

"Right. You think the only reason I would let someone copy my homework is because I wanted to get laid. Screw you. Just because I look like this doesn't mean I don't have standards for myself and—" 

"There's nothing wrong with the way you look, Steve." 

And Steve is stunned silent after another comment from this stranger. "I didn't say it's why you let him have your research, but am I wrong? Were you lovers? Or at least had feelings for him?" 

Bucky is stoic again. He's looking at Steve like he can see right through him. Finally, Steve lets out a sigh and rolls his eyes. "Fine, there was this one time—it was years ago when we were fresh out of grad school but he told me he was straight. That it was an experiment and it's okay. I didn't know what I wanted then, either. Then we were friends. He didn't steal anything from me. He has a brilliant mind and he's an opportunist. He went to the right parties, started dating the right girl and schmoozed his way in. And maybe for once, I don't want to look like a loser."

"You're not a loser." 

"Whatever. I was expressing some concerns to Natasha—" 

"Who thinks she has an answer to everything," says Bucky.

"Finally. We can agree on something." 

"Listen, why don't you go and take a shower and I'll make you some breakfast. I mean, assuming you have food in this place…" Bucky looks around the room again as if finally seeing Steve's apartment for the shithole that it is, "and then we can go shopping." 

"Shopping? Why?" 

"We'll go around the city and take some pictures. Try on some clothes. So this way we'll have a few selfies in different outfits saved on our phones so if someone asks to see pictures of us, we'll be able to show them. I mean, I could contact this guy I know—he's a hacker and he can even create an Instagram account and backdate some pics—" 

"That's far too much for something which is only supposed to last a couple of days," Steve says. "Is there a need for hackers in your business?" 

Bucky gives him a grin that warms Steve's insides in a way it shouldn't and says, "More than you'd think."

0-0

After dinner, Bucky walks Steve back to his apartment.

Surprisingly, he's had a good day. Bucky grew up in Brooklyn so it helps them get along easily. Unlike Steve, Bucky's traveled around the world, too. He guesses you had to if you were in the Service. He doesn't talk much about that, though, Steve noticed. Every time he brought it up in conversation, Bucky conveniently changed the topic.

"I think I should sleep here tonight," Bucky says, surprising Steve. He'd been lost in his thoughts of how they were going to say their goodnight. If this was a date, it was one of the best ones Steve has been on. He's also holding a shit ton of shopping bags of things Bucky bought for him. _On Natasha's expense account._

"Wha—" 

"Don't worry, I'll sleep on the couch. The Avis is on State, only a couple of blocks from here and if I stayed here tonight, we can easily tell the truth of how we drove from your place as opposed to me coming to meet you from mine. Don't you think?" 

"We're going to rent a car?" 

"Yeah," Bucky says with so much ease and looking at Steve like, _Where the heck have you been, pal?_. "I don't have a car, and I'm going to guess you don't have one that could drive up to the Hamptons. And whatever it is—don't you want to arrive in style?" 

Steve nods reluctantly. His 1997 Honda Civic would make the two hour trek to the Hamptons but maybe Bucky, being an escort and all, considers himself too good for it. 

"Where is your place?" 

At that, Bucky looks a little uncomfortable. It's probably the only real emotion he's shown all day. "I don't exactly have one right now. I'm crashing with a friend in Marine Park. Last night—" 

"You stayed with Natasha," Steve recognizes. He's been there. It's hard to find a place in the city that's affordable, and decent enough. When he was out of grad school, Steve did the same. 

"It's not like that. We're just friends. And listen, pal, don't look at me like—You think I need to stay here? You think I wanna sleep on your shitty couch—" _Man, he gets defensive fast_. 

"All right, calm the heck down," Steve says, obviously having hit some damn pride nerve in the man's body and opens the door to his apartment. "Do you need to go to your _friend's_ place to grab your stuff or are we gonna get it in the morning?" 

"I don't need to go. I'll borrow your suitcase." 

"What do you—you mean you're gonna wear whatever we bought today?" 

Bucky shrugs. "Sure, why not. We went to UNIQLO and I only need my boxers to sleep in." 

"But, shouldn't you wash your new underwear before you wear it?" Steve asks, glad he's walked into the bedroom and started to take his suitcase out. If he were looking at Bucky, he would die of embarrassment. He can tell his face is already red with the way his cheeks are burning and imagining Bucky's body in nothing but boxer briefs would be the death of him. 

"You've got laundry in this apartment building, don't you?" Bucky takes off his coat and tosses it on the couch like he lives there. 

"I don't know how or why your laundry habits will come up in conversation but okay, I'll bite," Steve says. He's never had a male escort boyfriend before, and has no idea if this is how they all are. But something tells him Bucky might be going a step further. Maybe because of Natasha but who the hell knows and he's not about to look at Bucky again. 

Evidently, they're washing their underwear together tonight. 

_Good grief._

0-0

As luck would have it, the laundry room is empty when Steve and Bucky make their way down. Steve has no idea where Bucky gets the roll of quarters out from, but he's not going to ask. He's too nervous to be doing this.

Still, they manage to stay silent as they do the wash, and then when they head back down twenty seven minutes later, because yes, Steve does know how long the machines take—to switch over to the dryer. 

Once they are done, Steve brings out the sheets and a blanket for Bucky who takes his shirt off, throws it on the floor, plopping face down. 

_Well, there's that then,_ Steve thinks to himself and heads to his bedroom. 

He's awakened a few hours later with a weird noise coming from the living room. Investigating it, he discovers that it's Bucky tossing and turning in his sleep. He's saying something but Steve can't quite make it out. 

"Bucky…" Steve says softly as he approaches the man, afraid he might get hurt if he isn't careful but Bucky doesn't seem to hear him. 

Steve grabs Bucky's shoulder and shakes it. That seems to do the trick. Steve knows he should stop but he's being a total weirdo by continuing to caress Bucky's shoulder and then brushes the hair off Bucky's forehead. A minute later when everything seems to be calm, Steve heads back to bed. 

When he wakes up in the morning, he tries to talk to Bucky about it. 

"Are you all right?" 

"I'm fine." 

"Last night…" 

"What about last night?" Bucky seems to be more defensive than it's necessary. Is this a sore subject? 

"You looked like you were having a nightmare." 

"Oh, sorry if I woke you up." 

"But…Making sure…"

"I said I'm fine, Rogers." 

"I know. You did. I mean… I don't mean to pry is all—" 

"Then don't." 

Bucky turns around and stalks away. "Well, there's that, I guess," Steve mumbles to himself and gets ready for his unusual weekend with his pretend boyfriend who doesn't want to talk about his nightmares. 

"Awesome."

0-0

They arrive at the Cargill Estate in Bridgehampton right before lunch. Bucky managed to rent an Infiniti QX30—which was the most luxury-car they owned at the lot. Steve is already feeling a bit self-conscious about having all the attention with a beautiful man like Bucky by his side. Then arriving in a fancy car, it's making his insides turn.

"I think I'm going to be sick."

"Good thing we're here because you don't wanna puke in the car."

Steve wants to roll his eyes but his nerves are getting the best of him. As he walks to the estate—now owned by Wyatt's future father-in-law—he runs his fingers through his hair to straighten it. They're already dressed in suits and Bucky, when Steve wasn't paying attention, had texted one of their selfies to Natasha who had put it on her Facebook page. She captioned the picture: CUTEST COUPLE I KNOW—HAVE A GREAT WEEKEND CELEBRATING! This only made Steve extra neverous. What were they celebrating? If people saw Steve tagged in the picture, were they going to ask this weekend? He can't do this. He can't _lie_ through his teeth like that. Not with only twenty for hours notice, thank you very much. 

It isn't that he's having second thoughts about all of this but he's having second thoughts about bringing Bucky. Maybe it would have been okay to deal with the weekend and listen to Wyatt go on and on about their research and parade his fiancée around, because Steve _isn't_ jealous. 

Courtney is a wonderful person. She's sweet, and smart, and holds two PhDs herself—and she wouldn't be with Wyatt if she wasn't totally in love with him but it's not like Steve needs to _see_ that.

Warren Strucker, who owns the lab Steve works at now, owns the Cargill estate that's been the jewel of Bridgehampton for centuries, and this party is to not only celebrate Liam Mason Wyatt's accomplishments but also to celebrate Liam's engagement to Courtney. It would be more obvious if Steve _wasn't_ there, being ignored.

Now he remembers why he wanted a date for the weekend. He _needs_ Bucky. 

"It's one of those parties where if you show up no one notices but if you don't attend, everyone is going to be talking about it."

"Sounds charming," Bucky says as he grabs Steve's bag and they leave their car behind with the valet.

"What's even the point in coming in such an expensive car when no one is going to see it?" Steve asks pulling on the strap on Bucky's shoulder. "I can carry my own bag."

Bucky doesn't budge. "Don't be a punk. You're the genius mind and I'm the muscle. Let me carry your fucking bags for you."

"Language!" Steve retorts which only earns him a snort from Bucky.

"By the time this weekend's over, I'm going to get you to swear just like me."

Steve rolls his eyes. "Not going to happen."

"You like being all prim and proper, Princess?"

Steve shoves Bucky away from him. "Don't call me that."

"You know I'm not going to fight you," Bucky replies.

"Why's that?"

"Because…" Bucky turns to Steve as he stops walking and drops all the bags on the ground.

"What are you—"

"I won't fight you because _they're_ watching," Bucky says taking a step towards Steve who is now frozen in his spot. His head turns to look around but Bucky places an index finger on his chin and turns his face. "Just look at me, bud."

"Ugh…"

"Shh…" Bucky says all gentle-like, and leans down to kiss Steve on the lips.

Steve allows it because he's still frozen in his spot and thankfully, the kiss is quick. Tender but quick. "How do you know? There's no one in the garden…What if they're all inside in the…"

"I saw movement in the house and then a small group gathered right by the glass door… So we had to make a show, right?"

"Right," Steve repeats. "Of course you have perfect vision." 

Bucky laughs. "I wouldn't be good at my job if I didn't know when to get in character. It's what you hired me for."

"Natasha hired you."

"Potato. French Fries." He threads his fingers through Steve's hair and gently tugs before kissing him on the cheek. The bags are back on his shoulder and Bucky's picked up speed again. Steve is all but jogging behind.

0-0

The introductions are fast and they're shown to their room fairly quickly. Liam is around but he didn't bother to come and say hello to Steve when they arrived. Instead, his fiancée Courtney greets them and invites them to the wine and cheese hour which is starting soon.

Steve didn't have a very long time to process all of this. He'd expected to arrive alone, he'd planned on being late, and then only putting up with some of the formalities. 

During the wine and cheese hour, Bucky's smiling and nodding along with everything has thrown him off the loop. He's kept his arm around Steve's shoulder at every opportunity and called him "hon" more often than not.

Steve hates it.

But the fact Liam frowns every time Bucky does it, makes Steve love it.

He's not jealous and it's been quite some time since Steve has seen Liam react to anything about him, so it's certainly…different.

"This place is fucking huge," Bucky whispers in Steve's ear, it's low and his voice is deep which sends a shiver down Steve's spine. In all of this confusion, the last thing Steve wants is his attraction towards Bucky to surface.

 _He's not your real boyfriend. He's not even a friend. He's only doing this because Natasha paid him_. And then Steve remembers he needs to ask Natasha how much it cost her and then try to pay her back.

"I'm going to go and take a look around," Bucky says.

"We're not supposed to wander around, especially in the private residential areas. You're going to get in tr—"

"Trouble?" Bucky teases. "That's my middle name."

Steve rolls his eyes. "I agree you're trouble, and also can you stop swearing around me?" 

Bucky sighs as if he can't believe he's stuck in this beautiful place with someone like Steve, who is too straight edge, too boring, too… too plain, maybe. 

"I'll say I was looking for the bathroom and got lost. Be right back, okay? And if I see anything good, I'll take some pictures for you."

"You're ridiculous," Steve says but knows he's not going to be able to stop Bucky from doing whatever he wants. "Just hurry back," he adds.

Bucky smiles down at him, lifts Steve's chin up with his index fingers and whispers, "You gonna miss me, Rogers?"

"Don't flatter yourself!"

Bucky gives him a quick kiss on the cheek again, as if it's so easy, as if it's something they do, and walks away.

A full minute doesn't go by when Liam approaches him.

"So you and _that_ ," he says.

"Hello to you too, Wyatt. Been okay?" Steve huffs out. He'd been dreading this and should have known Liam would approach him only when Steve's shield's not there with him.

"Cut the crap, Steve. I know why you brought someone like him here with you."

"And why's that?"

"To embarrass me, of course, why else? You're still not over whatever happened years ago and now you have to be so _out_ and shove it all in our faces—"

"Like you're not shoving your heterosexuality in my face all the time?" Steve asks looking Liam right back in the eyes. "I'm here because I was invited and I'm here with Bucky because we're together. I was told I can bring a guest, so I did. No one else seems to have a problem with him being here. If anything, I think everyone likes him. He's charming the heck out of Courtney, that's for sure. More than I can say about—"

"Leave my future wife out of this."

"Then leave my date out of this. The only person who thinks I'm making some big gay statement here is you, Liam. They're not going to take your prestigious award away if they _found out_. Which they will _not_.

"Find out about what?" Liam spits out but Steve can sense the layer of panic hiding behind all that derision.

 _What is he hiding now?_ Steve has to wonder. He's about to reply to Liam when Courtney walks in the room with Bucky by her side. They're whispering about something and she giggles at his remark which proves Steve's point and infuriates Liam.

Steve can't deny it doesn't infuriate _him_ , too.

Glad Liam's attention has moved away from Steve to Courtney, Steve takes his time to observe the scene in front of him. Courtney's arm's intertwined with Bucky's and she rests her other hand on his arm, too. As they walk in together, she's leaning on him, and though she knows Bucky is Steve's date, _and_ gay, the jealousy that hits Steve is almost out of nowhere.

In a moment's notice, he's by Liam's side, glaring at Bucky.

Bucky sees whatever there is on Steve's face and straightens up. "Sorry, I got whirled around and ended up in the wrong hallway. I was telling Courtney this place is like a museum."

She laughs and eventually lets him go. "I found poor James here in Dad's study and helped him back to you, Steve. He's been saying truly wonderful things about you."

"He has?" Steve tries not to sound surprised. He has no idea what kind of lies Bucky's been telling since they've only known each other for less than forty-eight hours.

"I've told you, Courtney, please call me Bucky. All my friends do." He winks at her and then lets her go—coming to Steve's side. "Can I get you a drink?"

When all Steve can do is nod, Bucky quickly kisses him on the cheek and walks away. Looking back at the couple next to him, Steve is shocked by the look on Liam's face. It's not anger or any sort of derision, it's genuine astonishment. As if up until that moment he hadn't believed Steve and Bucky were a couple and now he does. Except, they're not a couple. Steve doesn't even like Bucky.

"So what lies did he tell you about me?" Steve jokes with Courtney, hoping his own awkwardness hasn't been all over his face.

Courtney laughs again. Her laugh is open and genuine and she's a very sweet girl, Steve thinks, what is she doing with Liam? 

"He said you're honest and loyal. That even if you're pissed off at your friend Natasha right now, you won't say anything bad about her to Bucky. He admires that about you. And you have the type of integrity which can make any man fall in love with you."

"Oh…" Steve says dumbfounded.

"So he's in love with you," Liam says rolling his eyes.

"Integrity, huh?" Steve's tone is casual. "Is that something you love about Liam, Courtney?"

Liam's eyes go wide but before he can retort or change the subject, Bucky is back with two glasses of champagne and he hands one to Steve.

"Should we go into the garden?" Bucky asks; if he's read the tension between them, he's acting as if it doesn't exist. As Liam and Courtney lead the way, Steve takes a sip of his drink. It doesn't taste like alcohol. In fact, it tastes a lot like ginger ale. He shoots a look at Bucky who only winks back and they keep walking.

The glasses keep getting refilled but the taste doesn't change. In the end, and after dinner, when they switch from sparkling wine to whiskey, Steve finally takes a sip of real alcohol. He has no idea how Bucky has done it, but they are both almost completely sober while everyone else around them is tipsy or borderline drunk.

He's not gonna lie, he's glad for it. First, he's a complete lightweight, and second, he'd been absolutely nervous about his first night. He wanted to make a good impression and because of whatever magic Bucky carried out, he has. He's yet to make a complete fool of himself, hasn't retorted back to Liam's little digs at him, and even managed to charm himself into Courtney's dad's good graces.

By the time he and Bucky make it back to their room, Steve is wired with all the sugar in him.

0-0

"How did you do that?" Steve asks when they're both getting settled for bed. They have to sleep together, obviously, and the bed is huge—still, it doesn't make Steve any less nervous.

He's also a bit worried about Bucky's nightmares. The man had tossed and turned on his couch the night before, and in the morning, acted as if everything had been fine. Would his night terrors return tonight?

"You're going to have to be a little more specific," Bucky says as he grabs a t-shirt from his suitcase and puts it on. He'd walked out of the bathroom in pajama pants, and Steve had thought he was going to sleep shirtless. Now, he's glad there's going to be more layers between them.

At least, he's telling himself he's glad Bucky has the decency to sleep in more than just boxers. 

"The switch with the champagne and the white wine with dinner. The ginger ale and Sprite mixture in the flutes was relatively easy to hide and then what was that—grape juice?"

"Yeah, I told 'em to get creative."

"Told who?"

"The waiters. When I went on my little adventure, I found the head catering guy, gave him a couple hundred bucks and asked him to do me this little favor. And then, voila…"

"But why?"

"What? You think I was going to let you drink all that alcohol given how hungover you were yesterday morning? And how nervous you've been since the second I met you? I know Natasha told me this was going to be distressing for you, but man, I could feel the tension in your body from half a foot away. Just watching out for my client and all that." He winks again and then plops on the bed with Steve. "So should we jump around on the bed for a bit? Make them think we're going at it like fucking bunnies?"

Steve groans in frustration and moves far from Bucky. He wants to use this as an excuse to get away because all he wants to do is get closer; feel the man's warmth on him. "I'm going to change," he says and heads for the shower. By the time he's out, Bucky looks and sounds like he's out cold. 

He slips into his side of the bed and quickly closes his eyes. The bed is huge and there is a lot of distance between their bodies, and Steve's glad for it. In the unlikely event he rolls over, he doesn't want to end up on top of Bucky.

It feels like it's barely been fifteen minutes since Steve's fallen asleep when he's woken up by Bucky's groans. They are similar to the night before. A lot of _No_ s and _Stop_ s. And then there's a whimper and it feels like Bucky's crying.

Is this PTSD? Steve has to wonder. In their short time together, Steve has brought up Bucky's military background up a few times but he's always been shot down. Is this why? Does he seek help for it?

 _Probably not_.

Steve decides to take the chance and draw himself near Bucky's body.

"Hey, Buck… you okay?" he whispers but there's no response. "Bucky…" he says a little louder when Bucky only groans in frustration.

Eventually, he's shaking Bucky, granted a bit violently, but it doesn't seem to make a difference.

"Hey, it's only a dream," Steve says sitting up, pressed against Bucky's body to make sure the man's all right. He doesn't want Bucky to roll over and fall on the floor in his sleep.

"What?" Bucky huffs out, his voice strained.

"Bucky… you're okay?"

"Steve?" Bucky whispers as if he's lost his voice, "that you?"

"Yeah, man. I'm here. You were having a bad dream."

"Oh. Okay…" Bucky says, sounding like he's settling down. Steve can barely make him out in the light shining through the window across the room. "Sorry. Didn't mean to bother you."

"It's not…" Steve sighs. "I wanna make sure you're okay, pal."

"I'm fine," Bucky says, stiff. "If you want me to sleep on the floor..."

"No. Why would I want that?"

"I don't know, it bothers some people…" Bucky squeezes Steve's hand and Steve realizes he's still leaning against Bucky's body, taking in his warmth, his left hand is stroking Bucky's back and his right hand is holding Bucky's.

"Sorry…" Steve clears his throat and starts to move away. "I'll give you your space."

"No, I like it."

"What?"

"Your body, it's comforting." Bucky chuckles, sounding nervous. "Is that super creepy?"

"No." _And yes. But that's okay._ "I suppose it happens when you're having a nightmare. You wake up and need someone holding you."

"Do you mind?"

"What…" Steve clears his throat again. "What did you want?"

"Come here," Bucky says pulling Steve down and Steve goes willingly. A second later, he's the little spoon and Bucky's the big spoon. He closes his eyes and releases a breath. "This all right?"

"Does it make you feel better?"

"Yeah," Bucky all but whispers the word in Steve's hair and Steve's treacherous body hums with satisfaction. "It's calming."

"Then it's okay," Steve says, struggling to sound nonchalant. "You were there for me today. I can do this in return."

"Thanks, Steve."

"Goodnight, Buck."

0-0

His own dreams haven't been the most helpful. Steve's unconscious mind has taken it upon itself to have the dirtiest and the most sexual dreams possible. When he wakes up in the morning, he's painfully hard. It doesn't help there's a man pressed against his body whose hard cock is pushing against Steve's thighs and whose hand is up Steve's shirt.

Steve wants to move but he can't trust himself. He can't trust… instead of moving away, he won't simply grind against the man's cock.

The good news, of course, in all of this has been Bucky slept peacefully the entire night, didn't have any violent dreams, and they both would be well-rested to face another day.

_Yeah, it's probably good to focus on what's coming ahead. Don't think about…_

"God, you feel good." The breathy declaration does Steve in and he pushes back. "Oh, jeez…I sure hope you're awake," Bucky mumbles and his hand reaches up to tweak Steve's nipple.

Steve, absolutely embarrassed by what he's done, freezes up completely.

"I'm sorry," he says and starts to slide his body away to the other side of the bed.

"Steve, wait…"

"No. It's fine. I'm going to—"

"Steve—"

"I'll get ready first, okay?" He doesn't wait for a reply and locks himself in the bathroom. He's sitting on top of the toilet lid with his head in his hand when there's a knock on the door.

"Steve, can I come in?"

"Yeah?"

"Are you okay?" Bucky walks in and looks down at him, seemingly genuinely worried. How did he unlock the door because hadn't Steve most certainly locked himself in?

"I'm sorr—"

"About what?" Bucky asks.

"Natasha isn't paying you to have sex with me."

"That's not wha—"

"And I'm sorry if I made you think otherwise. You don't have to do anything you didn't want to and I acted—"

"Steve—"

"Listen. Can we just _not_?" Steve's barely holding it together by a thread and once again, as if Bucky has read Steve's face and understood; he backs off. "I'll be a minute, okay? And then we can go down for breakfast."

"Very well," Bucky says, he's smiling but his tone doesn't match his expression. "I'll wait for you… to be ready." And the way he says it makes Steve wonder if it's a double entendre or if it's wishful thinking.

0-0

"We're doing barbecue for lunch today," Courtney tells Steve when they all return from golf around noon. "It was my idea."

Steve nods at her, not sure why she's so proud of it. He hasn't been able to take his mind off the incident from this morning. And if that wasn't bad enough, he's getting the feeling Bucky is purposely keeping his distance from Steve.

"Are you and Bucky okay?" she asks in a whisper. "Do you think he'll like the barbecue?"

"Yes, I think so," Steve says, looking at her. She looks genuinely worried. "And yeah, we're fine. Why do you ask?"

"He keeps looking at you when you're not looking—like a lost puppy. Like he's waiting for your attention," she says, nudging her elbow in his ribs. "Was last night okay?"

"I… yeah." He's so confused right now. Does she know something? Did one of her friends recognize Bucky? It's not uncommon for rich women to hire an escort on the down low and Bucky is one of the most handsome men Steve's ever come across…and if that doesn't make him insanely jealous _again_. 

"You know how you wake up in a bad mood and then are like mad all day for no reason?" he asks and she nods with recognition in her eyes. "It's one of those days, I think." 

"You should go and talk to him. I bet you'll instantly feel better." 

"You think so?" He smiles at her, feeling the blush creep up on his own cheeks. 

"That's how I feel when I'm around Liam. He makes me feel better immediately." 

"Okay, I'll try it," he says and clinks his water glass with hers. 

"And get a real drink!" 

_Sheesh, what is it with rich people and them always trying to get you drunk?_

*

"Hey," Steve says when he walks over to where Bucky's sitting by the water fountain. It's a gorgeous day, not that he'd expected anything else, and Bucky seems relaxed. He doesn't look stressed or worried in the way Courtney had told him. Maybe he's better at hiding it from Steve. But, why would he be worried? "Apparently, you're sulking."

"Am I?" Bucky asks with a smile and shifts over in his seat so Steve can sit down. There's plenty of space there but with the way Bucky moves further makes Steve think he doesn't want their legs touching or maybe he's giving Steve space. 

_You did act like a complete moron this morning._

"Courtney sent me over to make you feel better. She thinks we're fighting." 

"Are we?" 

"Are you going to reply by asking me a question?" 

"I don't know…" Bucky says, pensive, "does it upset you?" 

Steve punches Bucky in the arm. "Jerk." Mostly, it's a reason to touch him but also, Bucky _is_ a jerk. "Courtney had me worried for a minute. I thought our cover was blown." 

"Why do you say that?" And then Bucky chuckles lightly, "Sorry, I don't mean to keep replying with a question…but what's wrong?"

"I thought she or some other woman here might have recognized you. You know people hire escorts all the time and they have affairs behind their husband—" 

"That's a bit presumptuous." 

"I'm not trying to disrespect anyone here. Far from it. I think it's good women go out there and do whatever pleases them—" 

"No, that you think I sleep with women." 

"Oh," Steve says, dumbfounded for a second time that weekend. "I'd thought maybe—is there a lot of money in being a gay escort." 

Bucky laughs again and it's such an open and honest laugh it makes Steve's insides tingle. "Is that all you think I'm good for?" 

Steve shrugs. "You haven't told me anything about you. Nothing real. I mean besides how you grew up in Brooklyn and then I guess you joined the military. I don't even know how you know Natasha—"

"Sirs?" Their conversation is interrupted when one of the servers at the mansion brings them two convoluted looked cocktails in crystal martini glasses. He doesn't take his eyes off Bucky. "Ms. Strucker ordered me to bring you both drinks and I wanted to make sure—" He gives Bucky a knowing look and a wink. 

"Perfect," Steve mutters to himself. 

"Thanks, Vinny. You're the man." 

"And how is your man, Bucky?" 

Steve looks over to where Vinny, if that is his real name, is standing and he's smiling down at him but it's not a friendly smile. It's more of a _what are you even doing with him_? smile. They are both now looking at Steve as if expecting an answer. A real answer. 

"Doing great. Thanks for taking care of _us_ ," Steve says, trying not to sneer. 

"He's possessive," Bucky says teasingly. 

"I would be too," Vinny almost purrs and Steve wants to gag on his mocktail wishing it were a real one. "You're a lot of man, Bucky."

When Bucky almost coughs out his sip Steve feels better. 

"Aren't you needed somewhere else?" Steve snaps, unable to hide it inside him. He's not sure why he's feeling this way—is it acting? He holds his drink with his left hand and then slides his right hand down Bucky's thigh. "We're sort of in the middle of something."

"Of course," Vinny says straightening up immediately and looks away. "Holler if you need anything." 

_Holler_. Steve shakes his head and then uses his free hand to fix his hair back. Now that his hand isn't on Bucky's thigh anymore, he doesn't know where to put it. 

"You are one confusing piece of shit, do you know that?" 

" _Language!_ " Steve scolds. When Bucky scoffs, he adds, "What are you talking about?" 

"That little jealousy act; it was very convincing. And how you were this morning. Disgusted by me… with me in bed…" 

"I wasn't—" Steve takes a long sip of his drink. "God, would it kill them to put some vodka in this?" 

"You want to get drunk?" 

"Why not? At least it'll give me a reason for why I'd wanna touch you." _Shit_. "I didn't mean…" 

"It's fine. Sorry I'm not good enough for you and your brainiac, rich, mother-fucking pals here." Bucky gets up almost violently, his body visibly reacting to the unintentional insult Steve slapped him with. He starts to walk away, back to the mansion, most likely back to their room when Steve decides to go after him. 

"Wait, Bucky…I didn't mean it like that." 

"Yes, you did," Bucky says in a hushed snap, only meant for Steve to hear. "Just leave me alone, Steve. When it's time for lunch, I'll be back and act like the puppy you need me to be." 

His legs are longer and he's getting farther and farther away but Steve doesn't stop. He's chasing after Bucky as much as he can—and he has no idea how it all looks. Are people staring at them? _Let them stare!_

Right now, Bucky not being totally mad at Steve is the only thing that matters. He finally slows down when they're inside in an empty hallway and turns to look at Steve. 

"What are you doing here, Steve?" 

"Let me explain. What I said…" 

"No. Not that. What are you doing _here_?" He gestures towards the group outside, the house, the luxury surrounding them. "You're not like these people. Why did you even wanna come?" 

"Most of these people are my colleagues, and the others, they'll fund my research. I'm here for networking—" 

"You're so much smarter than them. When you talk, they all _listen_. You should be the one running the labs, and you're letting them run all over you. _Use_ you." 

"I told you, I don't care about—" 

"No, I don't believe that," says Bucky. "It's not only about the research and doing good and finding cures. What are you actually _afraid_ of?" 

"Me? That's bold coming from you," Steve challenges. Just who the heck does Bucky think he is? He doesn't know anything about Steve. "I'm not the one who's suffering from PTSD and acts like it doesn't exist. Every time I even _mention_ your time in the military, your entire body revolts with anger and disgust and you change the subject. You think I don't see it? You think I can't read people?" 

"This isn't about me." Bucky takes a step towards Steve and he instinctively steps away, his back hitting the wall behind him. This only pisses Steve off some more. 

He wants to argue as loud as his voice would allow it but he needs to keep their cover so everything rushes out of him low and sharp and he's ready to throw daggers at Bucky. 

"Isn't it? You can charm your way out of any situation, flirt and wink with all the waiters and for one second, I ask for something real—you think you can do the same to me too. Last night, I wanted to talk about your nightmare and you used my attraction to you against me— _come here. Your body's comforting_. Let me _friggin_ hold you!"

Something shifts in Bucky's expression but Steve doesn't know what it means. Bucky's staying quiet. 

So Steve continues because he can't stand the silence. "And now? Because charm isn't working on me, you think you can bully me? I hate bullies, you should know that. I'm not going to back down from this, Bucky, you can't intimidate me—" 

And then, much to Steve's surprise and his annoyance, Bucky kisses him.

He doesn't push Steve against the wall but instead pulls him close. Steve can't help it, and like before when he'd punched Bucky because he wanted to touch him, Steve's hands press against Bucky's chest and he should be pushing him away but his fingers tangle in the fabric of Bucky's shirt and everything else is forgotten. A second later, his legs are wrapped around Bucky's torso and it's Bucky who is pressed against the wall. When had they even switched positions? He doesn't know. 

All he knows is this feels different. It feels real. All the touches before were for show—this one isn't. This is Bucky wanting to show Steve something he hadn't seen before. Steve feels something he hasn't ever felt before. 

When they break apart for air, all the while Steve is still climbing on Bucky's body, Steve buries his face in Bucky's neck. He's embarrassed. And if this is a mistake, he's not sure he'll be able to handle the humiliation. 

"I wasn't using your attraction against you…" Bucky whispers in Steve's hair. "I was giving into my attraction to you. This isn't a good idea for a million reasons but… she was right." 

" _She_?" Steve snaps his head up to look at Bucky when someone behind them clears their throat.

It's Warren Strucker and Liam. Even though Mr. Strucker looks uncomfortable, Liam is the one glaring at them. "If this is how you plan to represent our company to the investors and colleagues here, Rogers—"

"There you two are!" Courtney, thankfully, walks into the room at the same time and Steve has managed to let go of his hold on Bucky and they both quickly straighten up. "Oh, and Steve and James! _Oh!_ Bucky, I mean, of course. You boys made up?" 

"What?" Liam spits out the word with venom. 

"Oh, they were having a lovers' tiff earlier and I told Steve to go and apologize." 

"Hey, why would you think it was my fault?" Steve tries to argue.

"Wasn't it?" she asks looking at Bucky who shrugs. 

"Thanks a lot, pal," Steve says. 

"How…" Liam says as if he's confused, and annoyed, and full of hate all at the same time. "How is this okay?" 

"What?" Courtney asks before Steve has a chance to retort. "What if it was a dark corner and you found Mr. Oberon and Mindy here making out? I mean, would it be okay because they are a man and a woman? I mean, she's less than half his age but that's okay? She sits in his lap while you all are trying to talk business and that's acceptable? Bucky and Steve, who I thought was your _friend_ , Liam, have been nothing but pleasant and respectful. Shucks, I didn't think you were _this_ homophobic!" 

Her sharp gaze moves from her fiance to her father, "And you, Daddy? Are you going to say anything?" 

Mr. Strucker clears his throat and takes a step towards his daughter. "I've spoken to Oberon about his conduct." And then he turns to walk away from the group, as if everyone's dismissed. 

"Shouldn't you be chasing after him?" She almost scolds Liam who quickly scurries away himself. 

"That was unbelievable," Steve says almost laughing. "And thanks for that. You didn't have to defend the gays in front of your family like that…" 

She rolls her eyes and then locks her arm with Steve's. "They're stupid. I always worry if they didn't have me to put them in their place what nonsense they'd put themselves in. Come on, let's get some lunch." 

She pulls Steve away out into the courtyard and when Steve turns around to look at Bucky; Bucky's smiling and trailing after them. He checks his watch but doesn't say anything. It's as if he's expecting something to happen but nothing does.

0-0

It's night and they're back in bed. A foot of distance between them.

They haven't talked about the thing that happened before lunch. They've not acknowledged the kiss or the confession—if that's what you'd call it—and Steve is certain they're both wide awake. 

"Hey, Buck…" he whispers into the darkness. The window is closed tonight and the moonlight hasn't made its way in. Steve can still make out Bucky's form but it's more of a guesstimate than anything else. 

"Yeah?" Bucky turns around, his voice travels in a way as if now, he's facing Steve. 

"Do you, um…I mean…" Steve's heart is pounding a million miles per second and he can't get the words out. He doesn't have the alcohol to blame for this. He can't blame this on anything but his own foolish desire. "Are you fully dressed?" _What the hell, Rogers?_

Bucky chuckles. "Yeah. I didn't think it was appropriate to sleep in the nude with a stranger next to me." 

"Oh," says Steve. Now he feels more asinine than before. 

"Did you want to change that?" 

"Did you?" 

Bucky edges himself closer and finds Steve's hand. He squeezes it gently. "Look who is answering questions with questions." 

"I thought…maybe…" He reaches over with his foot to find Bucky's and gently rubs against it. Every part of Bucky's skin he's felt so far has been smooth but somehow Bucky feels so _rugged_. It's a cliche, he knows, but he can't help it. He's an absolute cliche himself right now.

"Am I still a stranger to you?" 

"Am I to you?"

Steve sighs and turns his body to face Bucky. "I hate this." 

"I'm not fond of the uncertainty here, either, but you are the one that's hot and cold with me—" 

"Maybe I can make it simple." 

"How?" Bucky's voice is full of intrigue. It's always like this; Steve marvels in the fantasy Bucky will always have his attention. 

"Come closer," says Steve and Bucky is all but on top of him in mere seconds. A few moments after that, Bucky is shirtless and he helps Steve take his off. 

Before Steve can say anything, Bucky has found Steve's mouth and the moan he releases as his tongue slides in between Steve's lips vibrates through Steve's entire body. He doesn't have a lot of experience, but he's never felt like this with anyone before. It feels more than what it is right now. 

Right now, it's a fling. Steve wants sex. He wants to feel good. He wants to forget how he thinks of himself as a loser on most days and Bucky can give him all of that. Right now. 

But it feels like Bucky could give him so much more after tonight too. 

When Bucky pulls away from his mouth and settles on a spot on Steve's neck, Steve gathers his courage up again. "Do you have any condoms?" 

"What?" Bucky's breathy reply comes out sharp—full of surprise. "I…uh…do you?" 

"Why would I have one?" Steve asks, "I didn't plan to get laid this weekend." 

"And I did—?" 

"I thought maybe someone in your line of business would carry them on him. I mean, you know, you get paid for sex. Right?" Steve's managed to make his tone light, their conversation somewhat easy-going given the circumstances because he doesn't wanna talk about Bucky being an escort right now. He wants to forget everything and have sex. All Steve wants is to have sex with this man who is beautiful, and he's admitted he's attracted to Steve. 

"You looked like you hated me from the start so I didn't think—" Bucky pauses for a second, "Is that why you want this? Because I've been paid to be here with you. Might as well use me for—" 

"No…" Steve says in a hushed tone and pulls Bucky closer. His hips jerk up and he rubs his groin against Bucky's; they're both hard. "I've wanted you since the second we met. I want you right now. _Inside_ me." 

Bucky groans and gently bites down on Steve's shoulder. "All I have is some lube—" He rolls off Steve's body and then from somewhere a tiny flashlight appears and Steve watches Bucky dig through his stuff. When it looks like he's found what he was looking for, Bucky straightens up and looks at Steve. 

Even in the semi-darkness, Steve feels Bucky's heated gaze on him. They're doing this. _This_ is happening. Now. 

He doesn't break his eye-contact with Steve and takes off his pants and underwear. When he approaches the bed, Steve gets naked too; still, he hides himself behind the covers and waits for Bucky to get in.

Bucky turns the flashlight off and doesn't waste any time getting close to Steve again. The lube is somewhere on the bed but it doesn't seem to be the concern right now. Steve doesn't know what Bucky's plan is, does he intend to use his fingers inside Steve? His body hums with approval to that thought. For now, he seems satisfied having their erections pressed together, as he strokes them both. 

"Is this okay…?" Bucky begins to ask. Steve shakes his head only to realize Bucky probably can't see him in the dark. "What do you want then?" He doesn't have trouble reading Steve's body, though. 

"Want you…" Steve huffs out in between kisses and gasps, "in my mouth." 

" _Steve…_ " Bucky moans as Steve makes his way down Bucky's chest until he's reached his dick. After Steve told him what he'd wanted, Bucky had turned them around and now his back is pressed on the mattress while he allows Steve to do whatever he likes. 

Bucky shifts restlessly when Steve's going all the way down and starting with Bucky's balls, sucking and licking there and then biting his inner thigh; it lets Steve know Bucky is enjoying it. He's eager though, Steve can tell. His hips are jerking up and he keeps threading his fingers in Steve's hair, trying to move his head. Given Steve isn't one to play games, his tongue licks Bucky's erection from base to the head before he takes it all in his mouth. 

"Fuck me, yeah…" Bucky whispers but doesn't say anything after that. His one hand stays on Steve's shoulder while the other gently tugs at Steve's hair. Steve can tell he wants to do more, set the rhythm perhaps, or tug harder, but he's containing himself. 

There isn't much finesse to this and his own insecurities and lack of experience are creeping thoughts returning in the back of his mind when Bucky tells him to stop. 

"What? Did I do something wron—" 

"No, of course not." Bucky pulls him up, kisses him deep, and then is searching for something under the pillow. "I was so close but I don't wanna come like that." 

"Then how?" Steve asks, his lips on Bucky's. 

"Me fucking you with my fingers while you stroke us—together." 

"Why does this sound like you've thought about this?" Steve says. It's instinct and the words leave him before he has the chance to stop himself. Or maybe it's hope. Maybe he wants Bucky to have been thinking about him. 

Bucky chuckles, low; the sound Steve has found himself loving to hear, and sits up on the bed. They're both on their knees now facing each other, and Bucky finally says, "Why do you think I brought lube? I've been jerking off in the shower thinking about your ass. _Being inside you_." 

Steve spreads his legs as Bucky's fingers trail behind him. He finds Steve's entrance and pressed the flat of his index finger against it. It rests there for a bit, as if he's deciding upon it or maybe waiting for Steve to say something. Steve strokes Bucky's cock and kisses Bucky's neck. " _Please_ …" he says and he's proud of how Bucky's entire body shivers because of one word. 

Because of Steve.

There's movement behind him, Steve's pressed against Bucky's chest and somehow, from somewhere, Bucky's got the lube and he slicks his fingers before pressing one inside Steve. It's Steve's turn to shiver now. He releases a small moan; it's not painful exactly, but it's been a while. It's been some time since it hasn't been his own fingers.

"You okay?" Bucky asks and Steve only continues to stroke them while Bucky's figuring him out.

"More…" Steve whispers, when there's only two fingers inside him, and Bucky's pushing them in and out making Steve ache for more. His own movements - jerking them off together - are becoming frantic and they're totally not on the same rhythm and that's okay.

"Are you su—" 

"For crying out loud, Bucky, I can take _more_."

"Okay! Jeez. Check if a guy's okay, get your head bit off, I guess. Get on your stomach."

"What?"

"Just get on the bed, Steve, I wanna try something different."

"Okay…" Steve says, skeptic. "Was it not working for you?" He's nervous again. Did he do something wrong?

"No, it was fine. Of course," Bucky says pulling Steve in for a kiss before letting him go.

When Steve's on his hands and knees, Bucky's fingers find him again. Steve can tell what he meant now. "That's it," Bucky says all smooth and low. "Fuck yourself on my fingers, babe."

Steve closes his eyes and lets out a small cry. He strokes his cock with the same rhythm now. Back and forth, back and forth, and even though it's Bucky doing this to him, he feels more in control.

"God, you're beautiful," Bucky says. "I want to do this to you in broad daylight. I bet you'd look so gorgeous then. Me being able to watch you and take you as I want…"

"Oh God. I'm so close…" Steve bites down on the knuckles of his free hand as he's getting ready to spill over when Bucky surprises him again.

His fingers are gone and he must have good eyesight because in the dark, Bucky's found him, as his tongue licks Steve's entrance. 

"What… _fu—_ " The words are on the tip of his tongue and Bucky pushes in. 

Steve lets out a small whimper. Earlier, he didn't know what he was asking for, and now, he knows he definitely hadn't expected this. His face is buried in the pillows and his ass is hanging out. Son of a bitch, he wants to scream; he wants to moan loud, wants to hear himself enjoying this. It's been—it's never been _like this_. 

He was already super close with Bucky's fingers in him, and now with his tongue? There is no stopping his climax. He spills all over his hand, Bucky licking and moaning as well. He takes his time coming around and catching his breath when Bucky's talented mouth finally releases him. He should be delirious; he almost is, and he's ready to crash but not before—

"Let me take care of you," Steve says turning and wrapping his fingers around Bucky's cock. 

He can't see in the dark like Bucky, but his hands are quick to find Bucky's thighs and move their way up until he reaches Bucky's erection. Which is prominent;the man is huge, and leaking. 

"What do you wanna do to me?" Bucky teases bringing his mouth closer to Steve's ear and his hot breath once again.

"Finish what I started," Steve says. "I want you to come in my mouth." 

Bucky doesn't need any convincing, and it doesn't take long for him to do just that. "I've been on the edge…" Bucky whispers, his hips jerking as he tugs on Steve's hair. "How can you do this to me?" 

_Me?_ Steve thinks. It's Bucky who has Steve all twisted up and confused. He spills down Steve's throat, and the entire room feels like closing in on them. 

But, are they both in this? Together?

The thought is comforting and scary. Steve might be on the border of freaking out. 

Sure, Steve wants Bucky; he's wanted him since the moment he looked in those eyes and forgot his own name. He's thought about Bucky's body more often than not. How they're so different and Bucky can easily pick him up, push him against the wall and have his way with Steve. But the things he says…they can't be real. Bucky is an escort. He can't have _real_ feelings for Steve. 

"There's things I want to tell you, Steve," Bucky says softly as he pulls Steve against him. "But first, let's get cleaned up." 

He takes Steve's hand and guides him to the attached bathroom. Steve washes his hands and Bucky has a warm washcloth ready for him. He cleans Steve as Steve only watches him, stunned silent by the gentleness there. He's not shocked by this at all, but, maybe he hadn't expected this from him either. 

"Do you want to talk now?" Steve asks looking up at Bucky who brushes his thumb against Steve's lower lip. 

"Tomorrow. Right now, I can't think straight and I don't know if we both have the mental capacity to handle…shit." 

Steve opens his mouth to say something when Bucky cuts him off. "I know, you hate foul language." He lets out a small chuckle—the one Steve loves to hear. "I'll work on that." 

They go back to bed and change the sheets before finally laying next to each other again. This time, they aren't far apart. Before Steve has had the chance to think about how they're going to sleep, Bucky pulls him closer and wraps his body around him. They're naked still, and he knows it's a bad idea. They might do things in the morning—as they almost did today and it's less scary. 

Bucky wants to tell him something? What could it be? In his heart of hearts he wants Bucky to tell him he's not actually an escort. But then why would he lie? Maybe he wants to get out of the business. 

Maybe he's married. 

_Shit_.

"Is it bad?" Steve asks his eyes heavy. 

Bucky kisses the back of his neck and tightens his hold on him. "Yes and no." 

_That doesn't help._


	2. Chapter 2

II.

Steve's body is sore in ways he hasn't imagined. It's been long since he's gotten laid. When he wakes up, he's alone in bed. The blanket is wrapped around his naked body and there's a stupid vibration somewhere on the bed.

Why is his phone on the bed? Or is it Bucky's phone? 

He fetches for it until the buzzing stops and starts again. He looks at the screen, his eyes squinting… _Romanov_.

It's not his phone but he answers it. Why is Natasha calling constantly? 

"Hell—" his voice is hoarse and he stops to clear his throat. 

" _Bucky, it's not safe. They know. You need to get Steve and be ready._ " 

"Wha—?"

" _I've got a chopper and I'm on my way but I'm still twenty minutes out. You need to hide. Meet me on the rear west exit, the one behind the study. Get the documents if you can._ " 

"Nat—"

" _Steve?_ "

"Yeah. I've been—"

" _I don't have time right now, Steve. Tell Bucky. Be ready._ " 

And then she hangs up and Steve stares at the phone for a good minute, unsure if he's imagined this conversation. If he's still dreaming. If anything is real. 

What do they know? How does _she_ know about the exit behind the study? Steve doesn't know about the exit—

"Steve. You okay?" 

"I…Natasha called." 

Steve hands the phone to Bucky who is in a towel, water droplets still on his chest, and he looks like…yeah, Steve could still be dreaming right now. 

"Oh, she texte—" And then all the blood drains from his face and this is the most reactive Steve has ever seen the man in the three days they have known each other. 

"What's wrong?" 

"Steve. Get dressed. Fast." 

"Bucky, I don't understand—" 

"I don't have time to explain, Steve, but we have to go. We have to run. I need to keep you safe." 

"Me?" Steve asks, confused, but he's already made his way to the wardrobe and pulls out random clothes and dresses himself. "Oh…" he says looking at himself. He's wearing Bucky's t-shirt. It's huge on him. "I'll chang—" 

"No." 

There's a blast downstairs as if someone has burst the front door open and then they hear screaming. 

"Come on!" Bucky puts on a t-shirt and jeans himself, and Steve thinks for a second _what's the rush_ he didn't even wear underwear and they're both barefoot and they should find socks—when there's another blast. 

"They're here," says Bucky.

"Who?" 

"Wyatt must have looked me up." 

"Are you even talking to me or saying random words to yourself?" 

Bucky grabs Steve by the elbow and they make their way to the hallway on the second floor. They are going to the back exit on the second floor and Steve is sure it's not in the same direction as the study. He sort of remembers it from two days ago when Bucky said he wanted to explore and Courtney had found him in the study. They'd come from the direction of the kitchen. 

"We're going the wrong way." 

"To what?" 

"The study."

"There's a secret stairway and hall—" Bucky pushes a bookshelf which is apparently a door and they quickly go inside. He closes the door behind him and Steve's about to shriek when Courtney beats him to it. 

"Keep it down!" Bucky whisper-yells at them. 

"Do you know what's going on?" Courtney asks and Steve replies honestly by shaking his head. No he has no clue what's going on. "Daddy told me to hide here. He told me I'd be safe." 

"It's okay," Bucky says, cool as a cucumber. "I've got a way out. But you can wait here." 

"No!" Steve says finally yanking away from Bucky's grip. "She's coming with us or I'm staying with her." 

"Steve, she's safe here. We aren't." 

"I'm not leaving her here. Especially when I don't even know what's happen—" 

" _Where are they_?" Someone that sounds almost exactly like a panicked Liam yells. When Steve looks at Courtney, he knows she's recognized the voice too. 

"I thought I could trust him," she says. 

"Okay, this way!" Bucky says, sounding annoyed, and Steve wants to roll his eyes. 

"Come on." Steve grabs Courtney's hand and they follow Bucky down a long dark hallway until they walk in through another fake door and enter the study. 

"How did you even know?" Courtney asks, sounding amazed. "I used to get lost in the tunnels as a kid—" 

"Apparently he's a spy," Steve spits out the word and Bucky looks at him, as if astonished. "Am I wrong? We could do this all day, _pal_." 

Maybe he's here to steal something which belongs to Courtney's dad. Maybe he already has. 

"I'm not a spy—"

Shots are fired and Courtney screams again when a bullet comes through the closed door of the study. Steve pulls her down on the ground. "Behind the table," he says. 

Bucky tries to cover them both. "We're not safe out in the open. But they won't shoot at Courtney if we create a distraction—"

"I don't know what the hell is going on, Barnes, if that's your real name—but I am not leaving Courtney behind." Steve glares at Bucky who, at least, has the decency to look chagrined. 

Courtney places a hand on Steve's shoulder, "It's fine. I don't want you two—" 

"I knew I couldn't trust you, Rogers!" Wyatt's voice comes through the door and Steve catches the terrified look on Courtney's face. 

"Those men with guns are with him," she mumbles to herself. 

"And your father," adds Bucky and Steve glares at him again. " _What_?" 

"She doesn't need this right now," Steve says and there's a banging on the door to the study. 

"That door will stay put while we make our escape," Bucky begins to say when there's an odd sound coming from outside the window. 

They all sneak a look and Steve sees a chopper with Natasha in the front next to the pilot. She's staring down at her phone. 

_Has it already been twenty minutes? Time flies when you're running for your life, I guess,_ Steve muses.

"Come on, we have to try to make it there before the guys with the guns start shooting at our ride out," Bucky says and he takes Courtney's hand in his. "Can you trust me?" 

"I…I don't know…" 

"I know this is a lot, Courtney, but I can't leave you here. I don't trust Liam—"

"Right," she says, nodding. "I knew he and my dad were up to something but I didn't think it involved men with guns. So yeah, let's get the fuck out of here." 

"Great!" 

Bucky opens the big window behind the desk and one by one they jump out. Steve figures it's better than trying to go through the door. At least the window has an element of surprise, or something. 

As soon as they're out, there's a blast in the study and the room all but implodes. Steve can barely believe it. Courtney is with them. If she had stayed behind, she'd be—

"No time to waste, Steve!" 

They're almost there when the shooting starts. He wants to be scared, but he's too busy being overwhelmed at watching Natasha shoot back. 

"Steve!" Bucky screams when Courtney is already secure in the chopper. He picks Steve up and all but throws him in. "We're ready, let's go!" he yells to the pilot who is quickly turning around.

"You okay, hon?" Natasha asks Courtney in the calmest and serene voice. She reaches over her to grab the seat belt and secures her in. 

Steve looks around him for the belt too when Bucky reaches over him to do it. 

"Don't—" Steve warns. 

"Stev—"

"Don't _Steve_ me," he says, glaring. Bucky looks worried. "I can do it myself." 

"Can you… let me?" Bucky asks softly and Steve is looking away from him, even though his face is mere inches away. He's watching Natasha give Courtney a bottle of water which she takes all too willingly. Poor thing is scared out of her mind. She knows she could have died in that room. 

Bucky secures him in and places his hand on Steve's knee. "I'm sorry." He speaks so low, Steve almost didn't hear him in the noise of everything around him. 

Steve swallows looking away. That's when he realizes his mouth tastes foul. He'd woken up and they'd started running. He didn't brush his teeth and the memory of what he did—what they did last night comes rushing back. 

"I can't believe I was so foolish," Steve says. Bucky removes his hand from Steve's knee which causes Steve to look at him and then at Natasha. 

"Hey, Steve. Want some?" Natasha asks, offering the water bottle to him. The idea of swishing the water around in his mouth sounds good. He wants to get clean. He needs to take a goddamned shower. He takes the bottle from her, glaring at her too, and then drinks from it. 

Unlike Bucky, Natasha doesn't look embarrassed or even a little bit sorry. 

"So you like him?" Natasha says and Steve immediately opens his eyes. When had he closed them? He doesn't know.

She's talking to Bucky who only shakes his head and looks away from her. Steve chances a glance at Courtney who looks to be sleeping. He lifts the water bottle in his hands—it's cloudy. Strange look for drinking water. 

"Wait…" he thinks he says but no one is looking at him. 

"He's so mad at you—does that mean you've already made him love you?" she says in a teasing tone, biting the inside of her cheek and looking so smug with herself. 

"I'm not talking to you about this." 

"And that thing with the belt—your hand's back on his knee—Wait. Did you two already have sex?" Her eyes widen with surprise and Bucky takes his hand away again. 

Shit, why did Steve even trust them? 

"How much did you give him?" Bucky asks looking at Steve, worry lines all over his forehead. "Nat—" 

"Just enough for a couple of hours." 

"Are you sure? He hasn't eaten anything and with his instability and palpitations—" 

"Oh my god! You're already in love with him." She sounds like she's accusing him of something and Steve doesn't understand. Eventually, everything is dark. 

The last thing he hears before he passes out is, "I was so right. You owe me a hundred bucks."

0-0

Steve wakes up warm and in a familiar setting. He can tell he's in his own bed because of how comfortable he feels, but, there's also an arm around him, and warm breath tickling the back of his neck.

Involuntarily, he stirs. He's always been unable to stay still. 

"Hey…" the voice, Bucky's voice, is gentle. "You're up." 

"How long have I been out?" 

"Over twenty-four hours," replies Bucky. He let's go of Steve and they both sit up. 

"What are you doing here?" 

"After Natasha gave you that drink to knock you out, and you didn't wake up for the first six to eight hours, I was worried. I stayed here to make sure you'd be all right. She guaranteed me it wasn't anything lethal but I didn't know if I should have brought you home or taken you to the hospital." 

"How did I get home?" 

Bucky shrugged. "I carried you. Off the chopper and then in the car to your place." 

"You _carried_ me?" 

"Uh…you couldn't exactly walk." 

"And what about Courtney? She was passed out too…" 

"She's fine. She woke up a couple of hours later and they took her in for questioning. I couldn't be there so I don't know what she said. What she does or doesn't know." 

"Why?" Steve asks and when Bucky looks confused, he adds, "aren't you there? Isn't that part of your job—whatever your job is." 

"I told Nat to handle it. I needed to make sure you were okay." 

"I'm fine," Steve snaps. "I don't like being lied to." 

"Yeah…" Bucky hesitates for a minute, "the lie I told you was the most harmless of the ones you’ve been told. They've been lying to you for awhile now, buddy." 

"I'm not your buddy." He watches as Bucky cringes at Steve's words but he doesn't care right now. Maybe he doesn't want to let this go—whatever this is between them and part of him is glad Bucky is there. That Bucky cares. He's there to make sure Steve is okay but—still, it doesn't mean Steve isn't absolutely ticked off. 

He'll fight with Bucky because it would help him get his anger out. 

He could do this all day.

"Steve…" Bucky's tone is gentle and he's physically moved a few inches away from Steve as if to give him some space when Steve gets up off the bed. 

He immediately feels woozy. 

"Are you—"

Steve looks down at himself and he's half dressed. He's still got on the shirt he was wearing _yesterday_ —or was that two days ago? But his jeans are gone. He's wearing his boxers. 

"I tried to make sure you were comfortable. But didn't want you to think—" 

"I have to go to the bathroom," he says, and leaves the room. Once in the bathroom, Steve closes the door behind him and rests. He could cry but he's not going to. Maybe later when he's in the shower.

When he's back in the kitchen, Bucky is making him tea. 

"You only had peppermint or ginger so figured either one's good for some energy. I can make you something to eat—or go pick something up—" 

"Why are you still here?" 

"I told you, I wanted to make sure you were…you know." 

"And you were holding me while I slept. Sleeping _with_ me." 

At that, Bucky’s face flushes and he bites his lower lip. "I was tired too." 

"You could have slept on the couch like a gentleman." Steve says and internally groans at himself. What is he? A housewife from the fifties? A damsel in distress. _Like a gentleman?_

"I…" Bucky says closing the distance between them. At first, Steve thinks Bucky is gonna kiss Steve but he hands Steve a cup of tea instead. "Let's sit." 

They sit together and Bucky turns to face him, his hand resting on the back of the couch, fingers mere centimeters away from Steve's skin. 

"Okay…" Steve probes. 

"I sleep better when I'm with you. I tried to sleep on the couch at first, like the first night I was here but I woke up from a nightmare so I thought…maybe holding you like I did on Friday night—" 

Steve takes a sip of his tea, trying to hide his face behind the cup, but it's too hot so he puts it on the coffee table. He should be worried Bucky hasn't drugged this tea, too.

"I almost died." 

"I know…" Bucky pulls him close, crowding in Steve's space, and almost making Steve sit in his lap. "I wouldn't have been able to live with myself if something had happened to you. Can't you understand that? I don't care about anything in this world Steve, but I've found myself giving a fuck ton of—" 

"Just kiss me," says Steve and Bucky's fingers graze the back of his neck before pulling him close and pressing his lips against Steve's. 

He should be angry, and he is, and he has a million and a half questions about everything but none of that matters right now. Right now, he needs to feel alive and he doesn't feel more alive than when he's in Bucky's arms.

Bucky's hands are caressing Steve's exposed thighs while he's still fully dressed. Steve is hard; his cock pressing against Bucky's stomach and he grinds down on Bucky's groin, wanting to feel more. 

"You know I can't resist you," Bucky says in-between his kisses. "I haven't been able to since I walked into this apartment but—maybe we should slow it down. I wanna make sure you're okay." 

"I'm fine," Steve says, kissing Bucky's neck and then sucking on the skin. 

"Steve…" Bucky groans. "I'm going to fucking come in my jeans if you don't—" 

"Then take off your clothes, fool." 

Bucky laughs. "That's rich coming from you." 

At that Steve takes a pause. "What does that mean?" 

"Nothing. I'm only teasing—" 

"You think I'm a fool?" 

"Of course not!" Bucky says, shaking his head. "I don't want you to regret your decision." 

"Is there something for me to regret? Should I not have slept with you? Was it all fake? You telling me you want me and can't resist me, is fake? You'd rather I find out what's happening and then never talk to you again?" 

Steve pushes himself off Bucky and settles on the couch with a bit of distance between them. "You know, you may be some super spy who likes to act like a male escort or whatever…" Steve's hands are up in the air and he knows he's being dramatic but Bucky is making him like this. "But you're the one who maybe isn't sure of what he wants. I've been upfront with you from the start. I told you about Liam, and even after everything. Even after—someone who I thought was my _best friend_ drugging me—I'm here. I'm showing my desire for you and you're telling me to back off. Right after you told me you slept next to my body because it's the only way you get a peaceful night's sleep." 

"I…" Bucky says and then sighs, running his fingers through his hair. "I did a bit of grocery shopping while you were out. Maybe I can make us something to eat and we can talk." 

"Yeah…" Steve says. He hasn't forgotten he's still in his clothes from the morning at the Hamptons. He's wearing Bucky's shirt and he hasn't showered for days now—after he'd come all over himself the night before the chaotic morning. He makes a face, feeling disgusted with himself. _No wonder he doesn't want to fuck you right now_. 

"Steve…" Bucky places his hand, his large, warm, welcoming hand, on Steve's shoulder and squeezes. "I want this. I want you. But I wanna talk first, okay? You said you don't like being lied to, so I need a chance to come clean." 

Steve nods. He can respect that. And he wants to trust it. But most of all, he doesn't want Bucky to know how absolutely embarrassed he is. "Okay, I'll take a shower." He gets up and walks away.

0-0

The water is warm and welcoming and Steve almost groans as he steps into it. He wishes Bucky was there with him. Even though he's been rejected, he's still aching for the man.

Bucky didn't want to hook up with him on the couch but he wants _this_. Whatever this is. Maybe he only wants a warm body to stick his dick in until it's time for him to move on. 

Still, it doesn't make Steve's desire go away. Being in Bucky's arms is the safest place he's ever been. The way Bucky smells drives Steve wild and the memory of being there…of making out with Bucky, licking and touching his skin, and grinding on him… This time, Steve does groan and his hand starts to stroke his cock. He wants _this._ He wants Bucky—even if he's some spy who pretends to be a male escort and probably sleeps with all his clients. Maybe he lied about not sleeping with women.

"Shit," Steve mumbles but the idea doesn't turn him off. Instead, he remembers how Bucky looks in his suit, how he'd pressed Steve against the wall and told him he was better than all of them and the way he'd fucked Steve. 

His hand is frantic, he might have been passed out for over a day, but his needs haven't been suppressed. Steve never wanted to be a damsel in distress but with the way Bucky protected him? It makes him want to climb that man's body and allow him to do all kinds of things to him. 

He's close. _So close_. So he shoves two fingers inside himself, wanting to ride Bucky's cock while he's doing this to himself in the shower and then spills all over his hand. 

_Fucking Christ_ , Steve says to himself and then scolds himself for his language.

0-0

When Steve steps out of the shower in a towel, he's a little embarrassed. He's never done anything like this before. He fantasized about Bucky while Bucky was still in the same apartment. He wonders if Bucky can tell. Would he be so obvious or would Bucky be able to see right through him because, apparently, it's difficult for Steve to hide anything from the man he's just met.

He's not prepared to look Bucky in the eye but when Steve makes it out of the bathroom, he's confronted by not Bucky, but Natasha. 

"Hey, Steve." 

"Holy Christ!" Steve shrieks. She's sitting on the couch but it feels like she's snuck up into his life. "What the hell, Nat, you gave me a heart attack." She smiles and shrugs at him, and he remembers he's still annoyed with her. "Come to deliver me another dose of sedative?"

At that, she has the decency to look a little sheepish.

"I didn’t think it was going to knock you out for a whole fucking day, Steve." 

"Language," he says and then stalks to his room and slams the door behind him. He's still in a towel and needs to change. 

" _Jeez. I thought you'd mellowed the guy, Barnes._ " He hears. 

" _If you know him as well as you claim you do—I would think you'd be aware nobody can mellow him out._ "

" _Except apparently having sex with you._ " 

" _I never told you—_ "

" _You didn't have to._ " 

Just for good measure, Steve takes his time getting ready. He finds his most comfortable jeans and his favorite Rolling Stones t-shirt—it's his armor—before he decides to step out of the bedroom. 

"Good, I was worried you'd passed out again." Natasha says. 

"Wouldn't it be so easy for you?" he retorts. 

Her face falls for a brief second as if she's genuinely hurt, as if she's actually his friend. She's not. He knows this now. 

She takes a minute before speaking. 

"Listen, Rogers. I know you're pissed. And I get that. I do. Honestly, I didn't think you were going to be drugged out for this long. I had thought Barnes would have briefed you on our mission by now…but naturally, I have a lot of grovelling to do and a lot of things to explain." 

"Okay." Steve takes a seat on the chair across from her on the couch. It's on purpose. He doesn't want Bucky to come and sit next to him. He doesn't want to show them that even after all of this, he _needs_ Bucky. "I'm listening."

"Bucky isn't an escort I hired to be your boyfriend." 

"Yeah, that I pretty much figured out on my own, thanks," he says. 

While she looks uncomfortable for the first time since Steve's met her, and Steve tries to look determined, Bucky is playing the good little housewife by placing snacks, and tea, on the coffee table in-between them. 

"Bucky and I and our team have been investigating Strucker Labs for awhile now, and you were my way in. My mission was to befriend you and figure out if you were someone to eliminate or someone to manipulate." 

"Who do you work for?" 

She shrugs as if there's no answer. "We operate under a lot of names. But, we were hired by Banner Industries to look into illegal activities by Strucker—" 

"Banner? As in _Bruce_ Banner. Your _boyfriend_?" 

"It's not—we met—" She looks surprised by her own reaction and when Steve chances a look at Bucky, Bucky is laughing. 

"Damn, Nat. I didn't think anyone had the power to shut you up like that," Bucky says. "How did you even find that out?" His question is directed at Steve. 

"When we first met. I thought you looked familiar—I never forget a face so I did some online searching and found a picture of you in an old newspaper article by Banner's side at one of the galas. You had blonde hair then. I remembered that event because I'd wanted to go—I actually wanted to work with Banner but then I met Liam and…I ended up with Strucker." 

"That's impressive," says Bucky. 

"This isn't an interview to join whatever little covert operation you people think you have going on, so no thanks." Steve's reply is harsh, he knows, and he can feel both Natasha and Bucky take a step back. He isn't done forgiving them. 

For lying to him. For _drugging_ him. 

"Anyway…" Natasha continues a few seconds later, "I needed a man on the inside. So when the opportunity came up, I knew Bucky would get the intel we needed. I had to find a way to get him there. What happened with Courtney—we got lucky. Once she was at base, she didn't stop talking." 

"How is she? Is she okay?" Steve asks immediately. God, he felt bad for how she got stuck in the middle of all this mess. It was one thing Steve got pulled in, but he didn't want Courtney to be so hurt. She was betrayed by her fiancée and her father. 

"Yeah. She didn't have any trouble letting us know what she knew. Passwords, keys, the works! It's a good thing she's independently wealthy and wants to see Liam caught and rot in prison."

Steve releases a breath and sags back. He was genuinely worried for her and hadn't even realized until then. 

He wants to say more, ask more, but already knows they're not going to say anything. And almost as if on cue, when Steve opens his mouth, both Natasha and Bucky's phones start beeping. 

"Shit…" Bucky whispers. 

"We have to go," says Natasha.

"But, I can't…" Bucky hesitates, his body subtly moves towards Steve, or he feels like he does, until he takes a stand. 

"You can't hide here anymore," she replies. 

Steve's head is like a spectator at a tennis game, the argument between Nat and Bucky goes on for a long minute, he has no idea what they're talking about, but it's obvious: Nat needs Bucky for something but Bucky doesn't want to go. What this is about, Steve has no clue. 

Frankly, he doesn't give a shit. 

Both Nat and Bucky turn to look at him. _Wait, did I say that out loud?_

"Just leave," he finally says. "I don't want you here. You're not my friends." 

"Steve…" both Nat and Bucky say at the same time. 

Eventually, Steve gets up from his chair when their phones buzz again. "I don't want you here. We're not friends." 

"Can I—" 

"No. I can't…" Steve says, and he feels like he's almost begging. It doesn't take Natasha more than a minute to be out the door, Bucky still lingers on.

"Steve…" 

It breaks his heart in a million ways, and he can't explain it. Steve falls ill easily, has to double check what he's eating just in case there might be something in it he's allergic to—and his entire life has been nothing but an inconvenience for most. But that look on Bucky's face—that is what is actually going to kill him. 

"Shit…" Bucky says, mostly to himself. "I'll quit." 

Steve's eyes widen but he couldn't reply. 

Bucky turns around and heads for the door. He chances one look at Steve, and adds, "I'll come back when I do."

0-0

It's the middle of the night and Steve hasn't been able to sleep much. He shuts his laptop close and collapses back in bed… He's unemployed and basically feels like he has no friends. He'd started to spend so much time with Nat, and was considering her such a close friend that now he has no one left.

His mind wanders over to Bucky again as it always does. He's wondering what he's up to. Is he watching Steve right now? Steve has been careful, making sure all his windows are shut and his shades down—He wants to tell himself it's because if there are people watching him, they can't. But mainly, he doesn't want _Bucky_ watching him. 

Bucky with his brooding eyes, and his gentlemanly charm, who would rather spy on Steve from a distance than actually knock on his door and apologize. 

Not that Steve would accept any apology. He's still pissed off. He did kick both of these people out of his life and his apartment, and now, he doesn't have anyone to blame but himself. 

Maybe he should go back to hating Liam—because that always seems like a good idea. Maybe he can call Courtney and they can start an I HATE LIAM club. Or maybe a CAN I HAVE A BOYFRIEND THAT ISN'T A SECRET AGENT OF SORTS. Except, Bucky wasn't his boyfriend, was he? 

_Does he still have trouble sleeping?_

Steve groans and if he already wasn't forcing himself to sleep with his eyes shut, would roll his eyes at himself. _What the actual heck, Rogers_? 

_I sleep better when I'm with you_.

"Maybe you should take that drugged water to help you sleep then," Steve says to no one in particular. 

This time, he does open his eyes, and then turns to his side grabbing his phone. He stares at the screen for a good, long minute, until the phone vibrates. 

"Ah!" he screams and then groans at himself. "Simmer down."

_> >>Unknown Number<<<  
I miss you._

* * *

Is he being spied on? Are there cameras in his apartment Nat installed while they were in the Hamptons? Who knows. 

Most likely. 

What he wants to do is throw his phone across the room and against the wall, but Steve doesn't have much energy to conjure up so much anger. So he turns his phone off and goes to bed.

0-0

The email he receives in the morning makes him realize his phone is still turned off.

_Dear Mr. Rogers,_

_We have been trying to call you but have only met with voicemail. We received your resume with the highest recommendations and would like to invite you to come in for an interview for the position of Head Research and Development Scientist at Banner Industries. You will be meeting with Mr. Banner himself._

_Please see the date and time below._

_Sincerely,  
Gabriella Jones_

_Human Resource Specialist  
Banner Industries, New York Division._

* * *

Highest of recommendations? From whom? Undoubtedly it's Natasha. Does he go? Does he ignore it as an attempt to get his attention to forgive his friend? 

_You can't live on your savings forever_ , the voice inside his head tells him. _Maybe you won't even see her_ —why would she even be there? Unless it's all a ploy and there's no job. 

But, she wouldn't do that to him would she? Would Bucky let her? 

Does Bucky even know?

0-0

His interview, if it's even real, is at 10:30 in the morning. Steve gives himself enough time to take the subway to Lexington Ave., but he's worried he's going to be late for the actual interview, given the amounts of security measures he has to go through.

He should have been used to this with Strucker Labs but since he was there for so long, and had an all-access pass, he didn't get his picture taken three times, and go through metal detectors, and body scanners. 

Finally, he makes it to the twenty-fourth floor. He's left alone in an office, coffee and bagels waiting for him, as if they knew he hadn't eaten breakfast. He hesitates only for a minute until he plops on the couch and grabs an everything bagel with cream cheese. He's more than certain he's being watched, but he could not care less right now. He's taking a chance that the sesame seeds on the bagel may or may not send him to the hospital today. 

None of this is real. 

For all he knows, some government agents are going to barge in and start questioning him about his involvement with Liam Wyatt and all his henchmen. 

Much to his surprise, Bruce walks in. Steve doesn't know much about him except, he's kind of a quiet, and awkward guy. He's seen interviews with him on TV and on YouTube and in those, Bruce seems to care more about his research and is always discussing the science. He doesn't seem to have any interest in anything else. Almost as if he's hiding something and is afraid it's going to get out. 

"Steve Rogers?" Banner walks up to Steve. They shake hands. "Ready?" 

"Ready for what?" asks Steve. 

"The tour of your lab." 

"My la—lab?" 

"Yeah, didn't Gabriella send over the paperwork?" 

"I…" Steve's truly at a loss for words. "I thought I was here for a job interview." 

"Oh, no. The interviews don't start until next week. You'll have your pick of top scientists from all over the world to join your team." 

Steve doesn't say anything. He's dumbly holding onto his bagel for dear life. 

"Why did you think you did all that song and dance downstairs with security? You'll have your clearance soon and—" 

"I'm so sorry. I think I'm still completely confused right now." 

"Yeah. Of course. But come on, let's go on a tour. I've got another meeting in an hour and if I am late for lunch _again_ , Natasha will shove it you know where." 

"Natasha…" Steve whispers. 

"Yeah. She said you needed a job, showed me your credentials, and I hired you immediately. I thought she'd have told you all that—"

"Yeah. I haven't kept up with my messages lately…" 

"Okay, so let's see what we have to offer, and if you want the job, it's yours." 

"And if I don't?" 

Banner shrugs. "It'll be too bad but I have a Skype call lined up with a team in Sokovia… I was hoping to bring them on-board as Deputy Head but…" 

"In that case, I'm sure a tour won't hurt," Steve says finally, because he is very much interested in getting a tour of the research labs at Banner Industries, and if Bruce Banner himself is the one showing him around—it's an opportunity he can't miss.

0-0

The lab is most certainly impressive.

They have developed a leading-edge research space. Given the location of the lab in Manhattan, they have obviously been creative with establishing this highly collaborative research environment—it's a building within a building.

"What would I be doing?" 

"Anything you want." 

At that, Steve can't help but scoff. 

"You and Wyatt—Your main focus, you were working together on osteopathic and connective tissue disorders and he was recognized for the exploratory research—" Then Bruce abruptly stops and his face softens, "It was mostly your work." 

"For as long as I can remember, I only wanted to do what's good, and what's right. I didn't care about who was getting credit. I cared about finding cures for kids and bringing families together." 

"And maybe on the way, improve your own health?" 

"How did you..." 

"I've read your file. I know who you are." 

"Right," Steve says, looking away. Any excitement he had about actually fantasizing about working here has been tossed out the window. "Natasha." 

"And her new best friend." 

Steve gives a humorless chuckle. "Bucky." 

"It's hard." 

"What is?" 

"Being guys like us. It's all factual data, research and theories, and scientific evidence… When we speak of _think outside the box_ , we're discussing solutions to problems while acting out metaphors, and they… people like James and Natasha… they've got other people's lives in their hands." 

"How do you deal with it?" 

"With the secrecy?" Banner asks and Steve nods. "Creative thinking and trust." 

Steve doesn't answer. _Trust_.

"Do I believe her when she tells me she loves me but she can't talk about it? Do I believe her when she says she's not going to make it to dinner but is safe? I have to. I mean, I don't _have_ to. I do. I know if I wanted it, she'd leave it all in a heartbeat but would I do that for her with my job? Aren't there times when _I_ miss dinner dates? With what matters to me—"

"It's not the same," Steve says. 

At that, Bruce laughs. He genuinely laughs and shows a side of himself Steve suspects isn't very public. "What did you think had happened between us? We met at the mall, went out for milkshakes, and she told me she was some super spy who can kill me with an Erlenmeyer flask?" 

"This isn't the fifties—no one _goes out_ for milkshakes at the mall…" Steve grumbles because he doesn't want to admit everything Bruce has said might be okay. He would be willing to trust Bucky. He wants to have the opportunities to have missed dinners…and find ways to make up for them. 

"No, we went to the Apple store," Bruce deadpans.

"So you're saying I should give him a chance?" 

Bruce nods. "Yeah, and give her a second chance too. She sincerely cares about you and I know it's killing her you're not responding to any of her texts." 

"Are you giving me this job because you want me to be friends with your girlfriend again?" 

Bruce laughs again. "No. I'm giving you this job because I need someone to lead an investigation on abnormalities of the human skeletal system. And I think you're a brilliant scientist. And I'm asking you, as a friend, to have faith." 

"Okay. I'll think on it." 

"On what? The job, or Natasha, or _Bucky_?" 

Steve gives a soft smile. "On all of it, I suppose." 

"Very well. I won't rush your decision. Now, come on, let me walk you down and have security call you a car." 

"I can take the sub—"

"Please. Let me try to win you over with some perks of Banner Industries. Our Head Development Scientist shouldn't have to take the subway back to Brooklyn." 

"I'm not sure if that's a good option given the traffic sometimes…" 

"Yeah, you don't know my driver."

0-0

On the car ride back, Steve's phone buzzes and there's a notification. It's an Instagram post and Steve's tagged in a photo. The person who posted is Courtney and the picture is a selfie she'd taken of them with Bucky in the background.

The caption reads:  
WHEN YOU'RE STARTING OVER, IT'S GOOD TO KNOW YOU'VE MET SOME GREAT AND GENUINE PEOPLE. STEVE AND BUCKY ARE THE CUTEST COUPLE POSSIBLE AND THEY SAVED MY LIFE.

It's the universe. It hates him. 

Almost as if she knows he's looking at the picture, and his thumb hovers over Bucky's face, Steve gets a private message from Courtney. 

_C: I hope you don't mind I tagged you guys in the picture. I'm so happy to have met you both.  
S: It's fine. I am happy you're safe.  
C: All thanks to you. If you hadn't insisted on me coming along…  
S: Don't mention it. I jus wanna forget that chapter in my life.  
C: Me too. But I hope we can get lunch in the city someday.  
S: Def. I might be starting a new job soon so I'll let you know.  
C: Great. Give my love to Bucky. _

Steve sighs and continues to look out the window. They're just about crossing the Brooklyn Bridge and he's in luck they won't hit the usual traffic. He'll be home in no time and then he can forget everything and hide from the world again. 

Except, he can't forget. He can't ever forget. His body misses Bucky something fierce, and every time he closes his eyes, those eyes are staring right at him. His skin still tingles where once Bucky had touched him. In bed, he curves against nothingness, hoping he could wish the empty space to turn into something solid. 

He's pathetic. And he knows it. He'd kicked Bucky out of his apartment, his life. Maybe he didn't expect Bucky to stay away. 

_I miss you._ Steve stares at the text message. Should he write back? Should he listen to Banner and give Bucky a second chance? 

There isn't much time to deliberate, and Steve doesn't text Bucky back as the car's already pulling up in front of his apartment building. He thanks the driver politely, who stays put, watching Steve go into his building. 

He stops short when he finds Bucky sitting outside his door, smoking a cigarette. 

"You know I hate those things," Steve says, not sure if Bucky actually knows, or maybe he should, given Steve can get sick real fast with second-hand smoking. And Bucky claimed to have known a lot about Steve and his health.

"I…" Bucky quickly stands up and stubs out the cigarette. "Sorry. Shit. I didn't know when you were coming back." 

"Did you know where I was?" Steve asks, and Bucky shakes his head. "Why don't I believe you." 

"Steve. I swear…I didn't…I wanted to…" 

"Wanted to? What? Have me followed?" 

"No. I want…I want to earn your trust back." 

"I don't think you can earn something back if you didn't have it in the first place." Okay, so maybe that's a bit harsh because Steve _was_ thinking about how much he misses Bucky, and how he wanted to be in those arms. 

And now he's staring at Bucky's arms. He scowls at himself and stares into Bucky's eyes. 

"What?" he asks. 

"What?" says Bucky. 

"What are you doing here, Buck?" 

_Shit_. 

Bucky gives a little triumphant smile which disappears immediately. "I figured you weren't ever gonna text me back." 

"So you're stalking me." 

"I thought we established I _wasn't_ stalking you. I came to your apartment. Waited outside. Had no clue when you were coming back. So I was waiting. If I were stalking you, I could have called Nat and—" 

Steve groans. "I don't plan on texting her back anytime soon, either." 

"You see that picture Courtney posted?" 

Steve gives Bucky a scrutinizing look. "You told her to post it?" 

"No. I didn't even know she knew my…account." 

"Your fake account you created so we could pretend to be boyfriends. Where you could go and get intel or whatever on some deal and evil people you can't tell me about." 

Bucky's voice is low and secretive, but his words are properly delivered. "It was just a job, Steve. I was on the job. I didn't mean to hurt you, and hell, I did not mean for this to happen." 

"For what to happen?" 

"I didn't mean to fall for you. I didn't mean to need you like air." 

"Aw, hell…" Steve grumbles. "Shit, you can't say things like that, Bucky." 

Bucky chuckles. "Language." 

"So what now?" Steve asks, ignoring him. He brushes past Bucky to open the apartment door, and he nearly loses his footing at the familiar scent of Bucky. He stops in his tracks and closes his eyes. 

"I got an apartment," Bucky says, his hand resting on Steve's shoulder and squeezing it gently. "About two blocks over." 

"Enough distance, if I were to get a restraining order." 

"Are you gonna?" 

"Should I?"

"If you want me to go… Just say the word. But, know I came here because I had to see you. If you hate me, then tell me you hate me." 

"I don't hate you. I was…I am hurt. And I can't trust easily…But I don't hate you." He enters the apartment, leaving the door open for Bucky to walk in. A minute later, he does. Bucky closes it behind him, and rests his back against it. Steve sits on the couch facing Bucky, and asks, "So tell me about your new place." 

Bucky shrugs, but he looks proud. "It's big. Two bedrooms, one office, and a little porch looking over the harbor." 

"Why such a big place? You're gonna get a roommate?" 

Bucky shakes his head. "No. I wanted to get a nice place for you…for us." 

"For us? You expect me to move in with you?" 

"No…" Bucky says, laughing. "Not tomorrow or anytime soon… But I figured maybe, if things work out between us. We could have a nice place. A place you deserve." 

"I can manage to get my own nice place, thanks. I have a new job offer." 

"Oh?" Bucky looks interested. He shifts on his feet but doesn't break eye contact. 

"Where I'm coming from." Steve shrugs. "Not sure if I'll take it." 

"Why not?" 

"It's working for Banner." 

"Really?" Bucky says, giving a surprised laugh. "No shit." 

"What?" Whatever it is, Bucky's not going to tell him anyway, Steve's sure of it.

"Nat got me an interview with him. Once she figured out I wanted out, anyway." 

"You're working for Banner Industries? Doing what?" 

"Security Chief. I didn't know…I hadn't realized you were going to be working there. I don't want to make you uneasy—" He reaches, closing the distance to Steve and hesitates. Steve doesn't respond; doesn't move a muscle. If Bucky wants to close the distance between them, then it's his prerogative. Steve had already thrown himself at Bucky the last time he was on this couch and it was embarrassing. 

He has no intentions of a repeat performance. 

As if approaching a wild cat, Bucky takes small steps, until he sits on the other end of the couch. Steve's heart is beating a million miles per second, and he is so sure Bucky can hear it. Bucky reaches over and takes Steve's hand in his. 

"Did you get my texts?" he asks. 

"Only the one," says Steve.

"And you didn't text back?" Bucky pulls Steve closer, and Steve is so damned weak when it comes to this man. 

He willingly gets pulled in. "I would have if I'd believed you." 

"You don't believe I missed you?" Bucky has Steve sitting on his lap now, and his fingers are finding their way under Steve's shirt. "Fuck…" 

"What?" Steve asks in a whisper; afraid if he says anything else, this spell will be broken, again. 

Bucky buries his face in the crook of Steve's neck and he's _making_ —yes making Steve rock back and forth in his lap, because Steve is most definitely not doing it on his own accord. "I was here to ask you out on a date." 

"You were?" 

"Yeah…" Bucky rasps. "I was going to date the fuck out of you. Get dressed up, buy you flowers, impress you with my new apartment, take you out—" 

"And now you can't?" 

Bucky stops, freezes up, and looks into Steve's eyes. "Of course, I can. I just…I was going to be a gentleman." 

Steve snorts. "Gentlemen don't make me ride their cock while trying to make amends…" 

Bucky groans, and the need which tears into Steve's soul, leaves him shaking. "Steve, you don't know what you do to me. How do you—why the fuck can't I control myself around you?" 

"What'd I do…? How would I know what I do to you? Last time we were doing this," Steve leans in, and gently nips on Bucky's ear, "You turned me down. Remember?" 

"That was because I didn't want you to regret it. You have no idea how hard it was for me. How I have been dying every night wishing you'd be with me. It's more than sex for me, Steve. I want you to see _me_. Want _me_. Not just someone you can get your rocks off with."

Steve doesn't get a chance to reply because at a moment's notice, he's on his back, his legs wrapped around Bucky's waist and Bucky has managed to take Steve's blazer and shirt off. He's gently biting down on Steve's skin, all the while rubbing up against him. 

Steve moans and it's lost in Bucky's kiss, until Bucky is back sucking on his neck. 

"Jesus, Bucky…If we don't stop, I'm going to come like this…" 

Bucky hums against Steve's skin. "I didn't bring any condoms." 

"Why?" 

"I told you, I wanted to ask you out on a date. Maybe take you to see my apartment." 

"Didn't wanna jinx it?" 

"Didn't wanna jinx it." 

"That's okay, I have condoms in the bedroom." 

"What?" Bucky asks, surprised. 

"As much as I'd love for you to fuck me into this couch, I would prefer the bed." 

Bucky stops to pull back and Steve takes his hand, leading him to the bedroom. He lays back in his bed and watches as Bucky undresses himself. It's a show. Maybe not deliberate, but it is enjoyable. Watching Bucky makes Steve's mouth dry, and he gulps visibly, because this is happening. It's finally happening. 

He wants to believe Bucky when he says he wants to date Steve. And yeah, maybe they should be taking it slow, but their entire narrative started off on the wrong foot, and Steve doesn't know how he can take a step back. Not when he aches so much. 

"You can change your mind…" Bucky says, tentatively. 

"Shut up and get over here before I do," replies Steve, and Bucky doesn't need to be told twice. He's on Steve, undressing him, and there isn't any lingering and going slow anymore. His movements are deliberate and he only has one thing on his mind. To get Steve under him. 

When Steve turns over and reaches for the condom box, Bucky's face is buried between his legs. Steve almost lets out a squeal when he feels Bucky's tongue _there_. Again. 

"Buck…" Steve gasps. And then, wet fingers have replaced Bucky's tongue. 

"Told you I wanted to do this in broad daylight. Watch you come apart under me…" 

"Here…" Steve presses the condom in Bucky's hand and closes his eyes. He pushes down, fucking himself on Bucky's fingers, waiting for Bucky to make the next move. 

"Look at me," Bucky says softly, and Steve opens his eyes. He looks down as Bucky pulls the condom on, and then lines the head of his cock against Steve's hole. "Don't look away." 

"I won't," Steve promises. 

"Good." 

They start out slow. But Steve knows he can take more. He has been fucking himself on a thick dildo, wishing for it to be Bucky. And now he has the real thing, he's not going to let this end before it even begins. 

Bucky grabs Steve's ankles and rests them on his shoulder as he pushes in and out. His eyes are fixed on Steve's face, and they roam from his eyes to his mouth and back. He leans down to kiss Steve and when Steve bites Bucky's lower lip hard, Bucky jerks his hips faster. 

"I need _more_ , Buck. Please. Harder," Steve pants, "Faster." 

"Yeah. Okay…" Bucky says, pulling out. In one swift move, he has Steve on his hands and knees and he's slamming into him. "This. Like this…?" he groans, grabbing Steve's shoulder and he pulls out, and pushes in. How it manages to be slow, and fast, and deliberate all at the same time, Steve has no idea. 

"Jesus…" Steve says, and his back presses against Bucky's chest. 

"Fuck yourself on me," Bucky whisperes in Steve's ear. "Let me watch you do it. Show me how you like it." 

This dance seems to go on forever, and it's beyond magical. 

If Steve didn’t already know Bucky wasn't someone people paid for sex, he would have easily believed it. But knowing there's no one else Bucky will be doing this with is more than gratifying. 

"Mine…" Steve mumbles, unsure of how the word even managed to escape him. 

"What?" Bucky asks, pulling Steve close and kissing his shoulder. 

"Mine," Steve repeats. "This is just for me…" Is it a question or a statement? Or is it wishful thinking? 

"Nobody else's, Steve," replies Bucky. "I promise. Just yours."

0-0

Steve stirs for a moment before waking up and unsure of the man next to him.

"Right…" he says, when it all comes rushing back to him. 

Banner Industries. Getting the ride back to Brooklyn. Bucky. 

Bucky turns towards him and with his eyes closed still, pulls Steve closer. "What time's it?" 

"I don't know," replies Steve. "My phone's on the couch." 

"Hmm…that's all right. We're not going anywhere." 

"Eventually, we'll need food." 

"Eventually," Bucky mumbles. 

"Yeah. And eventually, you'll take me on that date." 

Bucky opens his eyes to look at Steve and smiles. "That's right." 

"It is," Steve says with a smile. "You were going to date the fuck out of me." 

"Language," says Bucky and Steve rolls his eyes. "Also, eventually, you were going to call Natasha." 

Steve makes a face. "Do I have to?" 

Bucky nods. "Yeah. She got us new jobs. So the least you can do is to call her." 

"Why am I supposed to listen to you?" asks Steve. 

"Because eventually, after all those dates I'm going to take you on, after you're going to help me furnish my apartment and have sex in every corner—you're going to start calling me your boyfriend. So you should start listening to your new boyfriend already." 

"Hmm…" Steve ponders. "So I'll have to call her and thank her for introducing me to my new boyfriend." 

"Exactly." 

"And getting me a job." 

"Yes." 

"Sugar." 

"What?" 

"She _already_ thinks she has the answer to everything. I'll never hear the end of it." 

THE END

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [The Science Of Love (The And I'm gonna hold you like I'm saying goodbye Remix)](https://archiveofourown.org/works/23751292) by [Huntress79](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Huntress79/pseuds/Huntress79)




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